The next time you’re making out with your girl, start playing with her neck. Then stop kissing her, squeeze your hand around her neck gently but firmly, and whisper “If you ever leave me, I’ll fucking kill you” in her ear. Then let go and bite her lower lip. I guarantee she’ll get wet on the spot and never cheat on you.
In college, we don’t say “I love you”, we say “I have 5 essays, two finals, and 3 group projects due in the next 8 days” which translates to “I would like to be crushed by a train” and I think that’s pretty cool.
OH GOD MY SISTER HAD A PLATE OF COOKIES AND I SHOUTED ‘MINE’ AND WENT TO GET ONE BUT MY HAND WAS CURLED INTO A FIST AND I PUNCHED THE PLATE AND COOKIES WENT EVERYWHERE ADN THE PLATE FLIPPED OFF THE COFFEE TABLE AND SHE JUST LOOKED AT ME LIKE A MONSTER OH GOD